Out Of The Woods

It appears that life always seems to prove that we can run but we can never hide. That seems to be the obvious lesson learned as yet another person falls from grace. Tiger Woods has seemed to let the whole world down. At the very least, he proved that we never really know anyone. We just know what they want us to see. The alleged infractions speak for themselves. It is hard to look past what is obvious. I just ask of Woods one question. Why get married? If he is capable of what it seems he is capable of, why get married? Why do that to his wife, his kids and his reputation in the end? I don't understand why many of us give ourselves the credit to always think we can overcome who we really are inside. We don't tend to be honest with ourselves about who we really are or are capable of being. I sense in many cases, for people that it is not in their best interest or the people that they are involved with's best interest to be married or be whatever the circumstances allow them to be, they tend to do so to mask their own inadequacies rather than deny themselves the opportunity based on who they know themselves to be. Sometimes we think a relationship can change who we are. We think the person that we are with can change who we are. No matter what or who you surround yourself with, no one can change you but you.

With that said, I find the response to this revelation about Woods to be very intriguing. Day after day, person after person is giving their opinion about Woods and how if they were in Woods' position, how much smarter they would be than Woods. Or they somehow hide behind their thirty thousand dollar a year job, their thirty thousand dollar a year wife, their thirty thousand dollar a year children, their thirty thousand dollar a year car, there thirty thousand dollar a year life, and consider themselves to be equal to Woods and scream from the high heavens about how morally sound they know that they have to be and how they could never do such a thing. The irony about every single one of us is none of us know the full magnitude of what we are capable of. We think we are not capable of many things. But the best we can do is really hope that we are not capable if we are truly honest. None of us will be presented with every life scenario the world has ever known and has to offer. So truthfully we think we know ourselves and our capabilities and our limitations, but at the end of the day, we really don't know until we get there. Wherever there is. We don't know what it is like to have the extraordinary ability to succeed like Woods and we will never know the extraordinary ability to fail that his kind of success can allow for. It is easy to talk about it hiding behind the normal procedures of our lives. I believe as a judgmental public, we tend to give ourselves too much credit as if we have a less ability to fail.

The one thing that confuses me about Woods and people like Woods is I don't understand how they can work so hard to maximize their full potential in their professions, but not transfer that same work ethic to being the best person, man, husband and father they can be and reach their full potential on that side of the spectrum. That puzzles me. If they can live life with the same zest and vigor that they display in their golf game or whatever the profession might be, these revelations would be far and few between rather than what seems to be every week now. I don't wish the world to end for Woods. I just hope that he, his wife, his family and the public learn the lessons that are there to be learned rather than just feed on it as a story that is fascinating to those of us on the outside looking in. Even in someone else's crisis, we on the outside can learn a lot about ourselves.

Influencing an Agenda

In this time of peril I have to find myself surveying the times. I'm conflicted with trying to understand what appears to be the problems that we are in the midst of as a society and a people. What I have come to realize is that the problems that we are in the midst of that are being presented as the end result are a mere illusion or are indicative of a much greater problem. There is no denying that the social climate and the reality of the times are real. But the reality of the times is not the end all be all. I think these time are a byproduct of something far greater than the reality of the times themselves. I think our society has been victimized by something that is all around us but always remains unseen. Our times and perils within the times are the end result of social stereotypes and social agendas.

As I came across this reality, I had to ask myself how did I not realize this before? I feel bamboozled, hoodwinked and tricked by my own intelligence or lack there of. Everything that we have ever known as a society and might ever know is based off of these two things. My problem in realizing that fact was trying to piece together what makes these two agents of peril so overwhelmingly powerful. How have they been able to thrive for so long? Then I got it. I actually got it. Well, I think I got it. The beauty of a stereotype and an agenda based off of the idea of stereotypes is that they both attack our weakest link as a society. They both attack our lack of experience with each other and one another. Socially, racially, religiously, economically, the stereotype and the advertising of the stereotype which is the agenda, is the only experience or relationship that we might ever have with one another.

In this land of equal opportunity, that truth does not equate to equal experiences. I was convicted with this realization when I heard a particular subject matter about various faiths and the people behind the faiths. The details of the subject matter itself are not important. The issue that I had with the message trying to be conveyed was that it seemed to me that the message was depending on it being my only exposure to the subject matter itself. As if I could not have my own experience with the subject matter outside of the influence of the agenda. Or as if I didn't have my own outside experiences to compare the agenda to. That is what I realized a stereotype gains its strength from. It depends on a lack of experience or exposure. It excites a fear that allows for our vision of the world around us to be blurry and inconsistent. It is what allows us to fail each other. The irony of a stereotype and the agenda that follows is that it ends up being true by way of perception.

What makes them true? If you are a non black citizen and don't have a relationship with a black citizen, and your only exposure to a black citizen is the criminal that is headlining the ten o'clock news, then it is feasible for you to fall in line with the negative stereotype. That is the point and the power of the influence of an agenda. If all you know about a Muslim citizen is what you see in the local and national terror alert reports, your tolerance and understanding of Muslims being anything other than terrorists is what is real to you. Perception is reality. If your only relationship with a Hispanic citizen, or non citizen in this case is your local illegal immigrant report on the ten o'clock news, your perceived reality in seeing any passerby that could be Hispanic is that they just might be an illegal immigrant. This is what the stereotypes and social agendas have molded the times to consist of and conditioned our society to be. Why is what I do not know.

I don't know how in this melting pot culture, we still have such a separate but equal way about our society. We have the right to be influenced by so much around us, but still there are many that never leave there own kind socially, racially or religiously. We have the gift of our social and ethnic diversity and somehow we don't utilize it to its fullest degree. We are almost forty years removed from fighting for the right to be one society and yet, many still strive to find their niche within there own kind. I think the ability of stereotypes to run amuck is penalty for not utilizing what can make us special. It is reminiscent of the old bible tale of wisdom about the talents. If you take the gifts that have been granted to you and that you have been blessed with and bury them, you lose them all together when you don't use them. Our cultural diversity is the talent that can be buried and therefore lost. I think the stereotypes and their place within our society are slowly covering up and burying and not allowing us to see the beauty that our society is a product of.

As a society, we have to allow ourselves to gain our own experiences with each other. We have to find the room to experience each other to at the very least, find out if the stereotypes are true and how perception might differ from reality. Stereotypes prey on what we don't know about each other. They eliminate the desire to learn about one another and give us a false sense of security about the knowledge that is based on what we think we know about each other. If we don't learn about one another, then we can't learn from each other. That is the greatest peril of all.

Doomed to Repeat

I would never have thought I would have seen a time like this in my lifetime personally. This is the stuff that filled the pages of my history books while in school. I wonder what the next generation will read about this day and time. What will our present day reflect in tomorrows history and history books? What will the legacy of our generation as a people be to the future generations? I wish I could guarantee that no matter the events of the day, I hope that there will be a positive outcome and at the very least, the generation will abide by always doing the right thing in dealing with the trials and tribulations of the day. Though if what I am being a witness to is any indication, I must honestly admit that I am not certain if that is a realistic promise or guarantee.

The event of the day that is concerning to me is the Ft. Hood tragedy and the conflict of Islam versus the tradition of America in this current social climate. It is a tragedy that speaks for itself. I am concerned about the fact that it happened. I am concerned for the families of the victims and the victims themselves. I am concerned that the potential red flags that might have prevented the tragedy seemed to fall through the cracks of red tape. This is not an uncompassionate approach about the event. The reaction to the event is what I find to be the most concerning after the dust has appeared to settle. In fact, I feel much of the response itself is as much of a tragedy as the tragedy itself. I sense the proverbial slippery slope starting to rear its ugly head.

My generation has had life pretty easy. We are harvesting the fruit of the previous generations labor. Socially, economically and other wise. The events that define our day aren't the same as eras past. Our generation hasn't had too many watershed moments to define us. Maybe that is to our detriment as much as it could be considered to be to our benefit. There hasn't really been a moment for this generation that could bring a nation together outside of 9/11. Eight years later, even that togetherness seems to have been temporary. Until now with this tragedy hitting so close to home again. You find the conjuring up of an old wound. In generations past, there was war and opposition of war, the civil rights movement, the hippie movement, Watergate, JFK, MLK. History as we know it was forged within the lives of the people that defined these events. Within these events, there was a bonding of a nation that maybe the world had never seen the likes of before and since. There was a healing of a nation. Even the building of a new nation that lasted what seemed to be for whole generations.

So what about my concern? I am concerned that we are not equipped as a generation to handle adversity as a nation. At least not the way of generations past. We have had it way too easy to be simply put. What does this have to do with Ft. Hood? I am just concerned and simply hope that we get past this event the best way possible. I hope we get past this event rationally and not so much emotionally. In speaking about the events of past generations, and blending them in with the events of this generation, my concern is that we must realize that what happens today helps to define tomorrow. We don't really look at our daily existence and current events as tomorrow's history. We just try your best to get through the time as quickly as we can and move on in trying to change and fix what is broken socially or politically in most instances. I don't think we really grasp it past our own experience though. We don't anticipate the future generations experience in how we recover from the current experiences. At least for the most part anyway. Only the civil rights movement seems to stand out to me as something that specifically had the future generations in mind as well as what was the current social climate of the generation of the time. Then what is my concern? I am concerned that as a society we don't know how to differentiate between our feelings and emotions and the facts between a cause or a purpose, the misunderstanding and misinterpretation of a cause or purpose, and the people that carry out the cause or the misunderstanding of the cause that can misrepresent the essence of the cause or purpose.

The Ft. Hood tragedy seems to be a tragedy based on faith more than anything else. Or rather, the misrepresentation and misunderstanding of the faith by the individual that carried out the tragedy. What is concerning is that rather than focus on the individual person and HIS purpose, many are lashing out against the faith itself. Personally I feel he failed his faith rather than he be given credit for carrying out the faith's purpose. The problem is anyone who shares the same faith is subject to be ridiculed as being capable of the same thing based on the way the information is being delivered to us as a society. It is just playing right into the hand of the times. Even creating a new time and new era and a new day that I feel might not be in our best interest if we don't learn to separate the social facts from a social agenda. The individual person is irrelevant as long as you can define the individual by his faith in this case. To me that is the slippery slope. Not about faith so much, but as to how you can apply that same principle to so many different aspects within our current society. You see it with the illegal immigrant issue, you can still see it within issues pertaining to minority stereotypes. It is a mentality that is just not isolated to the Ft. Hood tragedy or the person that carried the tragedy out.

The problem I feel we have is partially in the information that we receive and partially in the way the information is delivered. I think most if not all information that is out there socially comes in the form of an agenda of some sort. I don't know if our society is smart enough to really know an agenda when they see one. Or even further more, I don't know if our society cares either way. The society will believe whatever it wants to see and believe. For that I am fearful. I do wonder how many of us within the society even have an opinion that is really our own. An opinion that hasn't been subliminally planted within us to shape our psyche and understanding and mold us in what we believe in, what to believe in or just believe period. In all honesty, I don't trust our current society to be able to do the right thing all of the time. I don't feel people can see outside of what they feel. What we feel is the only thing we believe in much of the time. I am discouraged because I don't know if we can ever separate the facts from the agenda and see clearly through waters that are muddy and murky. Which those who have an agenda prey on and hope for from our society. I get the sense that falling in line with an agenda is what conditions us to fail each other as a society. An agenda brings about an every man for himself mentality based on the way we choose to believe whatever the subject might be.

It brings to mind what I learned in school many years ago. I see a road being paved for history to repeat itself. This social climate reminds me of the Salem Witch Trials and McCarthyism and even to a certain extent, the relationship with the Japanese during the second world war. These eras in the American historical landscape are classic cases of judging a book by its cover and rushing to judgement for things that were impossible to understand or see clearly. Shoot first ask questions later if you will was the order of the day. If you didn't fall in line with the order of the day, you were subject to suspicion just for being different or just appearing to be different. I feel we are not so far away as a society today from what these particular eras of yesterday seemed to be capable of. I am not saying that I don't understand being concerned about what are society and culture have to endure in this present day. I just feel that we need to be smart in what we are really concerned about. We can't let ourselves be controlled by fear and not be able to take the time to see things clearly because we are consumed by and living in an era of fear. I sense that we have the potential to have an Islamic phobia because of the fear. We are starting to fear it because of the way that it is presented to us within our culture. Still we can't be guided or misguided with that fear. We can't rush to judgment against someone of Islamic faith just because we see what a terrorist can do and then ridicule or persecute someone or an entire group based on what might happen or could happen within the trappings of our fear. That is a bad precedent so set. We have seen through our own history that that is a strategy that cannot work.

My plea is that in order to keep peace within the times, we can't lose the ability to be fair. We have to learn to weed through the social mess. We have to look for the bright side even when all that we see is dark. We have to learn from our fathers and their fathers and their fathers and make sure we give our sons and daughters the best chance to succeed not based on what we feel, but what is right. Regardless of what we feel. It is not easy and this is the first portion of my life that I really see our present day having the chance to really influence tomorrow. It is a funny feeling when you realize that we are in the midst of writing and living history. My plea is simply, not to doom our day or time and the time of tomorrow, with the repeat of history. Should that happen, I don't know that as a people we could ever recover.

Why The Wonder of Why?

I really don't know the reason nor the purpose. It is just something that I feel compelled to do. It is just the next evolution in a series of evolutions that have led me to this point. The transformations in my life have manifested themselves at a pretty rapid pace. I finally feel that everything is just now starting to work in conjunction with one another. The things that I feel on the inside are starting to be consistent with my actions on the outside. The most important thing is I just now feel that I understand what it is to comprehend where my experiences have brought me and what they have taught me.

Up to this point nothing had seemed to go according to plan. When I look back at the outline of my life, the expectations that I had planned are vastly different from currently what I find my reality to be. At first thought, I could not get around the disappointment of that fact. The reality didn't disappoint me the way that my effort did. Or my lack of effort rather. I found myself just really going through the motions. Rather than taking life by the horns, I just sort of waited for things to happen. As if whatever you want out of life just pops up out of nowhere.

The irony of that is I didn't even know what I wanted. I didn't know what I wanted to be. I didn't even know who I wanted to be. So my biggest dilemma was within myself. Is within myself. I thought to myself that I have failed myself. A lack of vision, a lack of ambition, a lack of direction have plagued me. I think to myself that if I could consider myself to be such a disappointment to myself, how must my family feel? What do my peers feel? Especially when my family directed me to strive to be so much more. Those thoughts can feel like shards of glass in my head at times. I keep on hearing the you can lead the horse to the well but you can't force the horse to drink type proverbs constantly. But even with that pain, I could never realize what I wanted to be or which road to take.

My whole adult life has seen me sitting in the middle of the fork in road with two ways to go and always managing to somehow choose the third way. Which was to stay still. Recently it has been brought to my attention by a very wise man that the middle is always the worst place to be. In how ever short or long the journey, the middle is the furthest you can be from either the beginning or the end destination or point. Some call it straddling the fence and never choosing a side or taking a stand. Others call it lukewarm. It is neither hot nor cold, it's just comfortable. That is what and who I became. I became an exister and hadn't maximized being a liver. So here I am a failure to my own cause.

Failure has been the only thing I have been successful at in my mind. It has often felt tragic to realize that I am actually good at failing. At least for what I thought failing to be anyway. But now, I am thankful for where my failure has led me. For what it has taught me. I feel like my success at failure has brought me a peace and understanding that I don't think I would have acquired if life had gone according to plan for me. In my search for peace I started to embrace my surroundings that I felt had trapped me. I embraced what the people that surrounded me brought to the table by way of there experiences. I embraced the whole environment. I embraced the fact that life is bigger than just me. That is all I could see was my end result. I spent everyday looking at my end result and not paying attention to the process. The events that led me to where I was in life. I asked why am I here? What am I supposed to see? Who am I being molded to be? I realized if I don't embrace what is real around me, that to is failure.

Here I am finding myself having to conquer what has become the easiest way for me to be. But somehow, now I had the strength to do so. Most of all, I had the vision to do so. The blessing of the vision of what is and was around me is that I don't even know where the vision came from. I think vision is where I have failed the most up to this point. I only saw what I could see and feel at the time of any experience that I have had. I never thought of having to be accountable for the things that I couldn't see. Without realizing it, I thought the things that I did know where all I needed to know. I never thought about what I didn't know. But by a grace that I didn't deserve, I have been spared because I have a vision that I never thought was possible for me personally. Now I don't think I have so much failed although I know there are things that I should have done better and differently all together. I think my experiences were the hardships that led me and groomed me towards to the gift of sight. Again from a very wise man, "whoa is the man that doesn't see anything." I used to think failure was my ultimate destiny. Now I believe the recovery from failure is what my ultimate destiny has become. How I apply the lessons learned along the way from these days forward will determine if I really failed or not.

So why The Wonder of Why? I still really don't know. All I know is that I am no longer comfortable being trapped in quicksand in the middle of the fork in the road. Not choosing a direction to go. This is my attempt at some sort of redemption. This is me looking inside of myself trying to figure out who and what I am. I hope expressing what I see and what I feel not just about myself but about life itself help me to be who I now feel that I have to be. I don't know what I want to be still. Sometimes I think who I am is all I need to be. When I grow up, I just want to be me. I know who I want to be and I am just starting to realize what I want my legacy to be. I feel this compellation of the Wonder of Why is part of helping me be who I am going to become. I just don't necessarily know how to be it or become this person. So The Wonder of Why I guess is my therapy and mediator somehow. It is me sitting down with myself putting myself to the test in the things that I believe in. It is me gauging how far I have come in what I have learned or what I think I have learned. To also realize how much further I have to go. It is what is on my mind and in my heart. I guess simply The Wonder of Why is me introducing me to myself.

The Progression of Regression

What do you do when you realize that no matter how far you go in life, there is always room for something better and something more for you to achieve? What do you do when you become complacent and stagnant on your way to achieving whatever it is that needs to be achieved? How do you determine or see if you are complacent or stagnant in the journey of trying to achieve? When you find yourself in a stagnant state, is it subconsciously or consciously as to how you get to that state? In recent weeks, I have begun to take notice that things in life are not always what they seem in the travels of progression and achievement. It seems that no matter how much you grow as a culture, society, or as a people, there is always something within are own mental make up that seems to stunt the growth that we are destined for or trying to achieve.

The other day I was online and took notice of something very strange. There was a blip about Beyonce and one about Usher that was at the time headline news. I don't claim to hang on to every achievement by an entertainer, but sometimes something will grab my attention as far as entertainment news goes. I click on these particular said headlines and much to my chagrin, the topics as headline news are found in the confines of America Online Black Voices. I know that Beyonce and Usher are black, but nothing about the headlines had anything to do with them being black. I have read from this chapter of America Online before, but the need to be offended by it was all of a sudden new. It doesn't get any more mainstream than Beyonce in American pop culture. She is a staple for endorsing countless products. Her music and entertainment value are second to none, Her beauty is unparalleled. But yet when you click on her issue of a headline, it is under the black voices backdrop in which it appears. Usher is in the same vain. He is high on America's radar not just black America's radar. Needless to say, I took umbridge with this realization. It hit me like a ton of bricks as to how flawed it is that in the year 2009, there is still this self segregation and separation even in display of simple information. It is an American Online blog version of Jet magazine if you will. Which in itself, the Jet magazines of the world don't impress me either, but I digress. I just have to wonder as a community, how far has the black community come and how much further does the community still have to go to reach its full potential.

Blog or not, I feel it continues to set a bad precedent and send wrong and mixed messages to anyone that you can think of. If there was a white voices blog or forum that was hosted by the mainstream media or Internet outlets, scandal and ridicule would ensue. The proverbial double standard is then in full affect. I just wonder what the motivation is that in 2009, these outlets seem to still be necessary. I am not saying that I don't understand where the root of the ideal and necessity of something like that comes from. I know there was a time in which the culture and society didn't allow for social progressions. To a point, as a society there is still room for improvement in that as well. But I thought the objective of establishing these outlets when they were absolutely necessary was to eventually create the environment in which those outlets wouldn't have to be necessary anymore. Simply I thought the Jet magazines of the world were just biding there time until the times changed. Now that the times have changed, it seems they have yet to adapt to the changing of the times themselves. I sense that these institutions and outlets sort of hinder or prevent even further improvement and potential change. They tend to disrupt the ability for further progressions within the times with the roles that these outlets continue to play with there never changing or adapting presence. They have sort of become an enabler for certain people to feel that they might not have to change in conjunction with the times. On all sides of the spectrum.

The other day I was listening to the radio. What I heard shocked me. I was listening to a local black community inspired show and just had to first sit and listen, then sit and wonder, then sit and pray. What I heard seemed harmless enough at first thought. I guess for the forum and target demographic, it is what you expect to be the norm. That didn't make it any easier to digest though. Even if you can't exactly put your finger on it, you can wrap your mind around enough of it to know that something in the message, the delivery of the message and in what most likely was the intended response on the receiving end was not right.

I don't even know where to begin to be honest. My first thought is simply to say that I was disappointed by the perspective and felt that the perspective was just as much of an oppressor as anything from the past ever was. There could be a topic as simple as a crime that took place within the community or by a community member. It didn't matter what the infractions were by whoever it was that committed the talked about crime. In 2009 I was still hearing a dialogue that was promoting the mentality of the "white man" is just holding us down syndrome as the dominant logic of understanding as to why these things tend to happen within the black community in high volumes. On this particular show, the theme seemed to promote the main infraction as simply being black to simplify things. I am not saying that there aren't scenarios even in 2009 in which it isn't the case. People have agendas and people do get caught up in stereotypes. I know the potential of what can happen. But saying that the black community is solely penalized for being black and the nature of the infractions have nothing to do with the penalty or ridicule doesn't seem to make sense or provide the answer to the problem. There was an issue on local politics that was a topic further into the show. There is a black candidate running for an office and this show and the vocal listeners that interact on the show seemed to just see him being black as the only thing they needed to see as the reason to vote for him. I heard some of these same people say that they are even disappointed with President Obama because of his perceived lack of action within the black community. As if his sole purpose is to cater to the black community just because he is black. I feel there is something flawed with seeing the world that way. It seems you never get to the root of the real problems when you limit your outlook in how you see things. It seems to me that holding on to the past standard is disallowing and at the expense of the achieving of a future standard. Or simply allowing the reflections of the old days to prevent the dawn of a new day within an already new day.

I had to wonder that if this same show would have been viable in the civil rights era, would the conversation be any different in 1959 than what I was hearing in 2009? It sounded like what I have read and heard about in history books. I guess there is something to be said that this show was not possible in the time of 1959. Which in itself points to the reality of progress. Still it seems it is only progress to a point. The thing that concerns me the most in 2009 is trying to understand who really implemented the cut off points within the progress. Is it "white America" doing what they have been known to do historically? Is it forums like black voices that continue to keep us pinned behind one type of door? Is it a little bit of both? Or is it something totally different? It is as if the black community has eliminated its own ability to expand and broaden its own horizons even as the times change. As if for the black community, the black community is the only community that exists in a way. In which by to whose doing has this mentality been achieved?

I do have to wonder if sometimes the people that are a part of the forums and provide the outlets for the community to talk about itself or interject what they feel about the community in who and what the community is up against, believe in everything that they say. There will always be room for social improvements in every aspect of societal life and understanding. Yet there is no denying that many positive changes have occurred over time. Which allows me to think that to blame the reality of past racial and social tension is just too easy in trying to figure out why progression hasn't reached some of us. I am not saying that elements of the past do not exist. Which will always make it a part of the present and the future as well. But still the times have changed. I wonder if there is a bit of shame or embarrassment within the people that have the ability to provide the outlets for the awareness of racial and social relationships and progressions based off of their own observations of the community. A mentality that you could always blame on an oppressive conditioning can no longer solely be attributed to an oppressive conditioning since the times have changed.

I wonder what the outlets recognize in what they see in this time and era of people in the black community. What used to be behaviors based off of an oppressive order are now behaviors based off of an order generally attributed by choice and the decision making process of the individuals within the community. Meaning as a black community, we very well face many of the same obstacles and negative stereotypes that have plagued the community in the past. But the means in how we get to that point have changed. There are more options than just to be oppressed by the negative stereotypes and expectations. We live in a time in which the negative perceptions can be defeated. The ability to receive an education as well as many other things are just as accessible for the black community as they are for any other community. But the desire to achieve and utilize the progress no matter how limited some might feel the progress to be, still hasn't necessarily caught up to the changing of the times. So as the observers of the black community that have the ear of the community lend their perspective about the community, I wonder if they are almost trying to protect the community from itself as the main objective in their contributions. Not realizing that it is a detriment to the community. At least in my opinion it is. I am sure it is easier to blame what is easiest to blame and what has always been the easiest to blame for a continued lack of progression within the community rather than blame what might be a lack of ambition within the community itself in this era.

I am not saying that there isn't a need for the black voice to be heard. I am not saying that there isn't a need for a forum for the black voice to be heard per say. I just don't think it should end there or be the highest level of voice for the community. As if having a black voice article slot is equal to overcoming. I am a one voice visionary myself. I think more than anything else, the danger I see is that it is easy to trap ourselves in just the black voice once that status is achieved. No matter what goes on outside of the black community that can be equally participated in by the community, many still only live in the world of the black voice and black experience being the only voice and experience.

It reminds me of a vacation experience that I had in New York almost three years ago. Lets just say my eyes were opened even more so based off of this event. I was waiting in line to take the ferry to go see the Statue of Liberty on Liberty Island and also go to Ellis Island to see the famous immigrant landing point. A man who is black happened to be playing some music in the area of which I was in the line at the time. He came up to me and said how proud he was to see me in being black standing in line to put what I had planned into action. He said day after day he sees people come and go with their families and friends. But he is disappointed because members of the black community as visitors to the statue seem to be few and far between in his experiences. At first I didn't take him that seriously, but he told me to look at the people in the line in front of me and behind me and tell him what I see. There had to be a solid three hundred people in line at the time. Honestly and without exaggeration, I was the only person that was in the line that was a part of the black community in a line that was AT LEAST three hundred people long. He said that is what he sees everyday. The only thing was that I was there to give him hope on this particular day. He said our people don't travel, we don't take on too much in experience as to what the world has to offer. To broaden the point, we are trapped in our community so to speak. We are limited in experience outside of it and somehow, spoiled in and by the limitations of it all. Ever since then, good, bad, or indifferent, every time I travel going to and fro, I have to notice who is traveling with me. Obviously I have no scientific studies or proof to qualify this about to be statement. But with my ability to see and reason with my own two eyes and personal experiences, I am led to believe that as a whole, that guy who came up to me as a stranger that was proud of another stranger, was not inaccurate in his statements to me. What seems to be the most disheartening aspect in this revelation is that it doesn't have to be that way. The room and opportunity is there for anyone to see anything that they want to see or go anywhere that they want to go. But you have to want and desire to get there, wherever there is in order to gain another perspective and hear another voice so to speak.

I don't come with the answers. I just believe that in order to get to the answers to fix what I feel is the problem, you have to see everything presented on the table. Not just the elements that you like or are comfortable with. I think only seeing things from one side prevents the idea of maximizing the full potential of the community. You have to help yourself before you can help anyone else or expect help in reciprocal return. So getting it right within the community is job one. You can't be dysfunctional and think that you have a lot to offer to influence positive change outside of you or expect to be fully embraced by outside communities. The key is to recognize that there is still some work to be done in order to transcend the community and the standards of the community. That work starts with us in gaining other perspectives along the way. We have to recognize that the potential limitations only enable us to never see outside of our own skin and our own experiences. Hearing other voices can help us to learn about who we are, who people think we are, who we need to be, who we hope to be, and how not to be.

Just hearing the black voice is potential dysfunction in the way that I see the world. Again I am not saying that there is anything wrong with a forum for the black voice. It should just not be the only voice we ever hear in life. If that is all we see and hear, then we have not overcome as a community and people as much as we think that we have. Hearing your own voice solely to avoid exposure to others is a curse and not the blessing that many of us seem to believe it is. It is like the rest of the world has its set of problems and in only hearing the black voice, we are only worried about our problems as if the problems that the rest of the world have to offer aren't our problems to. I say we should all be in this together to find one voice and one sound. We just have to start within ourselves and have hope for a new perspective, a new voice and a new day.

The Pitfalls of Rock Bottom

They say all men are created equal. Who knew that statement meant that we were equally imperfect? No matter what the portrayals of our works are, the things that we don't see or are not allowed to see about each other tell this tale. In recent times as a society, we have seen many "great" people have the things that we were not supposed to see about them revealed to us. I don't know what is better, to see them as the version of themselves that they wanted us to see, or to realize that what we see is not always what we get when their story reveals itself. With the unearthing of the trials and tribulations of people like Steve Mcnair, Rick Pitino, Chris Brown, the list of disappointment just gets longer by the day. The reality or the potential of certain people not always being who we thought they were tends to take its toll on us as a society. It is getting to the point in which we expect the next day to bring the next disappointment in the falling of our "heroes." There always seems to be someone cheating our perceptions of who we think they are in life or cheating their respective craft by way of integrity. As if the way they approach their craft is the same way they approach life itself and vice versa. What is the biggest part of this problem? Is it their actions? Does it depend on whose actions are being revealed to us? Or is it simply the fact that these people that most of us don't really know, actually matter to our society that much for us to even be disappointed or let down by their actions? It really has to make one wonder.

I think that as a society, we tend to look towards the wrong people, places and things for guidance, influence, and sometimes worship. I don't think it is wrong to have heroes. But for us as a society to not really know these people outside of what we see on TV or read in a book, it makes our choice of "heroes" seem to be pretty unintelligent and uniformed. It is not to say that our "heroes" are supposed to be perfect. However, it seems that some mask who they really are or hide some of the things that they are capable of just to be received or perceived as perfect heroes. I don't think anyone that exists can live an existence without obstacles or hardships. No matter how good life can seem to be. Though it seems that our "heroes" tend to be our heroes because they seem to be exempted from such realities. Ironically at the end of the day, the reality is that they also can't escape the obstacles or hardships of life. Which makes us as a society all the more foolish to hold these people that we don't really know in the esteem that we do.

I don't think the revelation of the failures of our "heroes" is the part that is the most disappointing in the scenarios that are revealed. Well, I don't think it is the failures on their own merit anyway. I think as we relate the revealed failures in conjunction with what we do know prior to the revelations, is what brings about the most shock and is the cause of the most ridicule. I will use Rick Pitino as an example. For those that might not be familiar, Pitino is a successful college basketball coach and accomplished author. He is also a husband and father of five and also, a devout catholic. That is the Rick Pitino that we have been presented with as a society anyway. It has come to light that this devout catholic and father and husband had an affair with a woman that allegedly became pregnant and provided the means for her to execute an abortion after the fact. The affair with the woman has been confirmed by Pitino himself. Some of the other details are not as clear after the public backlash to the allegations. There seems to be some pulling of strings going on behind the scenes to at least for the short term, lessen the severity of the knowledge of the actions. There was money given to this woman which also has been confirmed by Pitino for the alleged abortion. Although his camp is arguing that it was given to her for her to purchase some medical insurance with. Regardless, the reality of the affair at the very least is true. Which contradicts his success as a husband and father and devout catholic in theory. It wouldn't be as hard of a pill to swallow if from the time during and since these allegations and admitted affair, he wouldn't have written books about the art of success and charged several thousand dollars per lecture to give speeches on how to be a success. Especially when we now know that he carried in his heart the reality and truth about what was then unknown. My point is, why soak up all of the benefits of being a "hero" when as an individual and man, if people knew the truth, they would never hold you in that regard? Why does it seem impossible to just be honest? It doesn't mean that being honest about the wrong that one days makes it OK to be wrong. But if someone comes to you to give a speech or write a book during a dark phase of your life, why not be honest and say I am not in the right frame of mind to do that. Or simply, I don't know what it means to be a success right now because I have some things personally that I am dealing with that are very contradictory to that subject matter. I can talk about my current failures or troubles if you want me to speak. I guess to hear that, you would need to live in a perfect world. I feel we need more Charles Barkleys in the world. He is the blueprint for someone that was given "hero" status and came out publicly and said that he is not a "hero" and didn't want that status. He was just a basketball player and a man with flaws. The real heroes and role models are the parent's raising their kids so they can grow up to have as few flaws a possible. That was his message. So now when we see him get in some sort of trouble that comes out in the public eye, we just say that is Charles just being Charles. Since he let the truth about himself be known for all to see and hear. In which whether you like Charles Barkley or not, you have to respect the point of view. Especially after a scenario such as Pitino's.

It is not to say that when the flaws are unearthed, then we just ridicule them as if those flaws are the only elements of their life that define them. Pitino, personal flaws or not, is still a great basketball coach. I think that the Pitinos of the world don't do themselves any favors in accepting and singing their own praises though. I think that comes part and parcel with who they are. That is how they have been molded. Many of the athletes and entertainers or people in public positions like Pitino, or a Chris Brown, (who we now know has some domestic violence issues of his own,) have lived a life in which they have never had to be held accountable for anything. In Pitino's case, part of his job description is to hold his student athletes accountable for their discretions as young men, students, basketball players and good citizens. Which makes it all the more disappointing and ironic to see him have to go through the things that are present in his life now. This is probably the first time he ever really had to be held accountable for being Rick Pitino the man and not Pitino the basketball coach. Everything is handed to most people in these positions. Society has molded them to be held to a different standard and the same society has taught us to make it possible for them to be held to that different standard. This same one hand feeding the other system is what makes them able to succeed in such great amounts in their professions. It is also what allows for them to fail as men, fathers, and husbands as well. One can be jaded and wonder which version in who we see is the true version. In other words, would the real Rick Pitino or Chris Brown or insert "hero," please stand up. Or are they simply both versions? Two sides of a book as Wyclef Jean would say.

In no uncertain terms, do I feel sorry for these fallen "heroes." I don't see them as such. I do feel sorry for them as men or women. I do feel sorry for the people that believe in them. Their families, their friends, the people that know them and love them. At least know a version of them anyway. Being on the outside looking in, I think Pitino, Brown and the people that actually have to suffer a consequence in having their truths revealed are better off for having to suffer that consequence. Regardless of everyone else that has to suffer that consequence with them. I would consider them the lucky ones. They are lucky because they have the chance to make amends. They can right their wrongs. They can seek redemption. The unlucky ones are the Steve Mcnairs of the world. The ones that experience the ultimate in tragedy in the midst and as a direct result of the apparent double life that is lived. Steve Mcnair died by the hands of his mistress. He will never have his day to right the wrong or to make amends with his family.

The one thing I personally don't understand when these stories come about, is how do they not anticipate the tragic outcomes or what they would subject their families to when they know they are doing things that they shouldn't do. I wonder if they even care about the possible hurt. If it is even a factor in the equation. It seems to me that if one would think about others even before they think of themselves in these sorts of cases, a lot of these events could be avoided. Then to make matters worse, when the story unfolds, they plead with the public about the mistakes that they have made as if they are victims of circumstance and not their own decision making process. Also, it seems to me in many instances, they hold the reporting of the facts in higher regard than the reality of the facts. They don't take blame for the message being reported. They challenge the integrity of the messenger instead. It is rare you find full accountability taken.

Again, we are not perfect as people so we can't expect perfection. One can hope and expect for good judgement in people though. One can hope that we all see things clearly and see things the way that they are supposed to be seen. I think to call these actions mistakes is flawed. I think it hinders the learning experience for everyone involved. Both the people involved and the people from the outside looking in. I associate mistakes as a negative result that comes from the right or good intention. Kind of like a math problem. In solving for X, we might not understand all of the steps as we work our way through the formulas. So if we come up with one wrong aspect in solving the equation, then the answer to that whole equation is wrong no matter how many of the steps you got right in solving the equation. Although wrong, the spirit was still there to come up with the right answer. Then upon not getting the right answer, we study more to try and succeed the next time we have to solve that kind of equation. When it comes to the human condition, I don't think mistakes are made in our own conscious decision making process. We can't accidentally make a decision. If the truth in these tragic stories never come to light, then a mistake is never acknowledged. It is only after the fact in being caught while having your hand in the cookie jar so to speak, that brings about that kind of response. You never have the intent to come up with the right answer when your intent is to hide who you really are or what you are capable of or are a part of. So I don't think mistake is the right word to use. I think as a society, we need to come up with something better, something more fitting, or simply, just the truth. Acknowledging such actions as mistakes doesn't give the actions themselves their full power of magnitude or respect. It softens the blow which therefore lessons the ability to learn the full lessons. I guess though, that is provided one is truly sorry for the wrongs that they do and actually acknowledges these kind of things as negative or wrong.

I don't want to sound as if I don't understand how these things can happen. I get it. I know that we don't always make the wisest of decisions all of the time. With that said, I actually think these outcomes in poor judgement are the best things that can happen to all of the individuals involved. Well, not for Mcnair. But that is my point, maybe if he cared more about the kind of father and husband he had to be, he wouldn't have had the things that happened to him actually happen. I believe that the ones that can survive hitting rock bottom are blessed by that. They are blessed by having the truth about them revealed to them. These sort of public and societal figures sometimes just don't see themselves in the truest of ways. They have a sort of tunnel vision. No matter how many people follow them or love them, somehow, they only see and care about themselves in how they live their life. In hitting rock bottom though, they can take those rocks and use them as stepping stones and building blocks to be the person that everyone always wanted them to be or expected them to be. The person that they need to be. The right kind of husband and father first. That is what defines you in the end. It is not what you do as your profession that defines you. It shouldn't anyway. Maybe that train of thought of what they do being so important is another element to the problem of what makes it hard to overcome these kind of circumstances. Or how one ends up in that kind of circumstance in the first place. Regardless, it is the legacy that you leave behind as a father and husband that is attached to your name as a member of society. Who your kids will be in the end and how they pay it forward is truly your mark. That is how it should be if we keep things in the proper order and proper perspective at least.

Not everyone can play a sport or sing a song or write a book, but we are all in the same boat as we just try to get through our every day ways of life. Everyone is a member of society no matter what role we play in it. I think the hitting rock bottom allows us to no longer have to look just at the profession as the identity of anyone that finds themselves in situations like these. It allows us to actually care about the man or the woman over caring about the coach or the author. That is the most important thing. We have to be honest about who we really are and then see if it is in conjunction with who we are supposed to be. If we are true to what is expected of us. We have got to take in to account how our outcomes affect someone else's outcome. If we truly care about who we are, then we can begin to care about each other. That is the stepping stone to maximizing the life that we live.

The Second Chance of Vick

I would like to take a chance on making an attempt in providing a social commentary on the current situation of Michael Vick. I have to say that the media reaction as well as the reaction from society has been nothing short of intriguing. My eyes have been opened to things that I never gave much consideration. I personally am happy to see Michael Vick back in the NFL. Not just for the fact of him paying his debt to society, but for having the chance to prove that people can change and hope to find redemption in the process. I guess one of the things I have come to realize is that his debt will never be paid in full as far as some sectors of society are concerned. Which in turn, makes it hard for him to become redeemed. It seems that society tends to pick what is to be deemed offensive and when it is OK to be offended and how much is owed in paying this social debt in seeking redemption.

I have heard opinions given saying that to play in the NFL is a privilege and so therefore he doesn't deserve another chance to play based on his transgressions. Never mind that for his whole life, he has been cultivated for football to be his most likely livelihood. I would contend that the NFL is no more of a privilege to someone that has gone to the highest level of institution to hone his craft in football, than for someone else who has gone to the highest level of institution to hone their skills in say engineering, architecture, or any other generic college degree. It is no guarantee that a degree in anything confirms that you will be able to apply those skills in that specific field. It is a privilege to get a job in that field. Especially in these economic times. How many of us know someone who has a particular talent or skill set, or education, but cannot make a current living with that particular pedigree? He or she has to settle for whatever they can get. So again, I contend that anything NFL or insert corporation, is a privilege to be a part of.

That is just one side of the spectrum. I want to know what it is to pay a debt to society and where does the societal reaction come from in ridiculing the people involved. I have heard on sports radio stations and other media outlets, people all but begging for Vick not to get a second chance. Is it OK for Vick to work at the local grocery store rather than attain a position in the NFL in trying to reestablish himself as a viable member of society? Would that make certain people feel better? I ask where does that kind of sentiment come from against him being given another chance? If people would be truly honest in why they feel what they feel, what factors outside of the crime play a role in the public opinion for or against Vick? I will contend that the obvious element even more than the crimes themselves is the reality of the person that committed the crimes. There has to be a racial perspective when you see another black athlete living up to a negative stereotype. That was the thing that disappointed me the most when this news story first broke. I had to think that another one bit the dust and continued to muddy the waters for the rest of the black athletes both present and future. I say that as a black man. I also know that Vick was not the best citizen on the football field at times. He has experienced some unfriendly fan interactions even when times were supposedly good for him. With some other outside of football negativity tarnishing his image, it is not hard to not feel the need to give him any sort of benefit of the doubt. Still, I am sure there are a lot of elephants in the room that are holding a lot of people on their backs in trying to get to the root of this issue. Connecting Vick to the already at times negative perception that he has acquired just seems to make it too easy for one not to notice what could be other deciding factors in the public perception of Vick. Maybe some people don't think Vick deserves a chance in the NFL simply because of the money that he is still able to earn. There is always a backlash from the knowledge of the money that athletes earn even when you are an athlete in good standing in the community. Regardless of the social, economic or cultural misunderstandings or just lack of understanding, I just wonder if people are totally honest to what else there is in this scenario that people are not willing to see or admit exists in forming their respective opinions as individuals.

With these thoughts in mind, is it ever really possible for Vick to pay his debt? I have to think that no matter what Vick does from these days forward, his debt will never be fully paid. Organizations such as PETA and other animal rights and support groups are going to make their presence felt. At least in the short term anyway. So they are going to continue to punish him well after he has supposedly paid his debt. These groups will always be able to sway a certain percentage of public opinion. So his debt will really be always partially paid to some at best. No matter what he has already paid to the laws that he was convicted by, he will owe society more than that.

I have to say that I think society is part of the problem in what makes the criminal cycle seem so vicious. Not just about Michael Vick, but for the “average” or run of the mill criminal. No matter how long of a time served in jail. No matter how much of a “debt” he or she has paid. They will never be able to break the societal expectations of its right to determine how much of a debt must be paid. For instance, a felon no matter how long after the fact in paying their debt, will always have a hard time in getting a simple thing such as a lease for an apartment. Once the background check is issued and the transgression is revealed, the rules and regulations of whatever the institution might be that is executing the background check supersede the debt that was paid. The expectation of the citizens in the area to be protected from the people and their past circumstances outweighs any debt paid. It is as if, once a criminal, always criminal to be simply stated. If a felon goes to apply for a job, again, once the background of the individual is revealed, the likelihood of them having a chance to get the job is dramatically decreased. More often than not, there is not one person that takes the initiative to even talk to the person with the checkered past to see where their head is in order to gauge if they can be an asset. Many times, a criminal is never given the chance to prove that they are rehabilitated or simply, have just changed the errors of their ways. Then as a society, we wonder why a one time criminal becomes a two time criminal and so and and so forth. Society is a factor as to why some never can fully rehabilitate. It is the proverbial system keeping them down. Except it is not the systematic ways of the law more than it is the systematic ways of the people and what they expect or demand that becomes the oppressor.

Which brings me to this point. I hate to be this guy, but I think it needs to be stated. One of the biggest flaws society has in my humble opinion, is that society's moral outrages and how they accept or reject violators of the law or ethical codes of conduct is consistently inconsistent. We have another NFL player who has been in the public eye in Donte Stallworth. In the same society, the public opinion of his offense is totally different in comparing the details of the two NFL players in Vick and Stallworth. My perspective is not to compare which of the violators is more or less wrong. I contend that the moral outrage should be the same for both. It is as if we tend to only have an opinion about the things that pertain to us directly or that we simply tend to relate to. With that said, it doesn't mean that our opinions are always legit even in the things we do relate to.

In case one is not familiar, Vick was convicted of an illegal gambling operation which involved dog fighting, and also the violent treatment of the dogs. Which led to the neglect and even the death of some of the dogs. Which in turn, led to Vick having to serve a year and a half jail sentence in federal prison as well as a having to pay a severe monetary penalty. That also means that he missed two full years of NFL action and earnings on top of the legal ramifications he inherited. Stallworth on the other hand, was involved in a drunken driving incident in which he was behind the wheel of a car driving under the influence of alcohol and traces of marijuana and ran over a citizen while under that influence which led to that citizen's death. I will say that the citizen that did die was negligent in some of his actions that led to his death as he didn't cross the street in a safe manner. So consequently, the accident was unavoidable regardless of Stallworth's state. That is how it was interpreted by the law anyhow. Which in turn, dramatically changed the perception of Stallworth to some and influenced the debt to society that Stallworth had to pay. Stallworth was given a thirty day jail sentence as well as a long checklist of probationary requirements that still need to be met. He has been suspended without pay from the NFL for one year on top of his legal obligations. The thing that I continue to find the most concerning in what I hear by way of public opinion is still that the moral outrages tend to be inconsistent only because of what people associate with or relate to in their lives. I don't expect Stallworth to receive the same backlash in whatever he encounters after he is through paying his debt because to many, his offense is easier to relate to. So the amount of people standing on their soap box crying for more blood is naturally going to be less versus what Vick will be exposed to just because of the rather unusual nature of his offense in comparison. I don't find the inconsistent nature of the public surprising since the laws and the application of the law tend to be inconsistent at times as well. It adds to the public opinion when you weigh the outcomes of the two separate sentences carried out by the law. The distribution of the law can tend to confirm what people already feel. So can we really expect anything less of the citizens that are guided and protected and directed by these laws? I just contend that the ways that we feel emotionally don't always mean that we feel things in a proper context. A lot of times we get so emotional in instances like these that we don't always see the full picture of what is really there because of what we cling on to personally. The reality of the facts can tend to get blurry when that is the case. So the emotional perspective tends to get in the way of the facts in the realm of public opinion.

For instance, a dog owner might form a harsher opinion against Vick the same way a member of MADD would form an opinion against Stallworth. Even within our own opinions or comprehension of our opinions, we tend to be a bit contradictory or inconsistent in our own right at times. A person who might be a dog owner can hate Vick for his actions. While this same dog owner can relate to Stallworth because he or she at some point of their life might have had one too many to drink. So they can sympathize with Stallworth because in essence, that could be them or anyone that they might associate with. But at the same time, this same person can say to him or herself, that they would never do anything that could lead to the harming of a dog or any animal for that matter. Not realizing that in being intoxicated, one is not exactly in control of their actions. So nothing is certain in what one is capable or not capable of in said state. I am sure Stallworth didn't think he was capable of hitting a pedestrian while intoxicated. But I don't think that should decrease the magnitude of the responsibility of his actions. Nor should it manipulate the perception of his actions. It is as if saying Vick was more deliberate of the actions involved in his crime and that Stallworth wasn't as deliberate in his crime by way of his actions because one could argue that to be intoxicated means to be unaware of the events one might be involved in, in said state. As if he accidentally became intoxicated and got behind the wheel of a car. With all of the education that we have at our disposal as a society about the dangers of drugs and alcohol, we have to come to the reasonable conclusion that there was just as likely of a chance to commit that crime than not commit that crime. Still simply to some, the intoxication makes Stallworth less responsible. Which brings in another factor as to why more can relate to his circumstance. I contend that just as some think anyone can have too much to drink to get to the state of being inebriated by alcohol, I believe anyone can be the citizen that is victimized by such a transgressor. Which should make Stallworth just as deliberate. Still at the end of the day, to do what Vick did and to do what Stallworth did are both against the law. So in my opinion, the moral outrages should be the same because the results of the actions are in essence the same.

I won't be sucked into the debate as to what is more offensive, the illegal gambling and harming and death of dogs all be it violently. Or the death of a man, a father, a husband and a son. Whatever you relate to the most at the core of the issues, I guess that is where your point of view is going to direct you. I just continue to contend that the moral outrages should be consistent. Even to the things that we might not all be able to understand. When we know all of the transgressions to be wrong.

I wish both Vick and Stallworth the best in terms of how they go about living their lives and rejuvenating their respective careers. I hope both learn the lessons from their actions. I hope even more for society though. I hope that some how we as a society learn the most from these examples. Maybe if we think of how our actions can affect others in doing some of the things that we do. Then we will worry more about how our actions affect us as individuals and think about if our actions are always in our best interest. I guess simply, do unto others, as you would have them do unto you. Then maybe, there would be no need for citizens to pick and choose what to be offended by. Hopefully there would be no citizens to be victimized by as well. Everyone would take each other into consideration within our own actions. Maybe with the same mentality and thought, there would be no future Michael Vicks and Donte Stallworths to have to be offended by. Provided we all gain the foresight to see into the future with thought and determine the outcome of our actions based on the inevitable debt or consequences that follow those actions. It just doesn't seem to be worth it in the end. Unless the failures are the only way for us to learn. Then learning does make it worth it even if we don't understand that part of the process. It sometimes takes to get to the lowest points for the things to be revealed about ourselves that we then learn from. You just hope that in the errors that we all make in living, we never lose sight of the lessons to be learned in failing. Especially in failing each other. But as we all know, hind sight is 20/20.